As a pilot this appeals….
* Pilot: “Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.”
* Engineering: “Almost replaced left inside main tire.”
* Pilot: “Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.”
* Engineering: “Autoland not installed on this aircraft.”
* Pilot: “#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid.”
* Engineering: “#2 Propeller seepage normal.”
* Pilot: “#1, #3, and #4 propellers lack normal seepage.”
* Pilot: “The autopilot doesn’t.”
* Signed off: “IT DOES NOW.”
* Pilot: “Something loose in cockpit.”
* Engineering: “Something tightened in cockpit.”
* Pilot: “Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear.”
* Engineering: “Evidence removed.”
* Pilot: “DME volume unbelievably loud.”
* Engineering: “Volume set to more believable level.”
* Pilot: “Dead bugs on windshield.”
* Engineering: “Live bugs on order.”
* Pilot: “Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent.”
* Engineering: “Cannot reproduce problem on ground.”
* Pilot: “IFF inoperative.”
* Engineering: “IFF inoperative in OFF mode.” ( the best one!)
* Pilot: “Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.”
* Engineering: “That’s what they’re there for.”
* Pilot: “Number three engine missing.”
* Engineering: “Engine found on right wing after brief search.”